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Join me for Part 4 of this 4-Part series on the 4 Basics of Eat to Live and Weight Loss! Today we delve into 3 Emotional Tools (body confidence, self care and worthiness!) that you can use on your journey to learn more about the weight-loss/consistency aspect of Eating to Live.


Links Mentioned:

Free 9-Day Eat to Live Challenge: http://www.nourishyourlifestyle.com

Free live 5-day challenges: http://www.nourishyourlifestyle.com/challenge

Eat to Live Family: http://www.nourishyourlifestyle.com/family

*affiliate links


YouTube auto-generated transcript:


when i lost weight after my first


pregnancy with my daughter this was back in


i was losing the weight it took about a


year to lose that weight and


i remember going through such a strange


transition during because


getting up to the weight that i got to


which was almost 175 pounds on that


pregnancy so i gained quite a bit i


gained like 50 pounds on that pregnancy


getting up to that weight felt so foreign to me


and so it felt fairly easy to come down


the first 10 20 pounds something like


That but then like the 130s and 140s felt so


normal to me because i had lived in that


space for a long time in my life earlier


getting down to the 120s 130s felt a little


a little normal for me because i had


been before many times


but then when i started to come down


below 120 it was a whole new game


for some reason we’re going to talk a


lot more about this kind of thing as we go


but i had to really really adjust to the


idea of being in the tens right the one


tens kind of a thing and this is a normal


body weight for my size i’m only five


two five three


But it took so much focus to


change my mindset around that


specific set of weights that i was


now getting into and i want to talk today a lot about that journey


and how it relates to these the final


set of weight loss tools and eat to live


tools that i’m going to give you today


hi i’m sheri alberts and this is the


watering mouth podcast and i’m going to


teach you to eat to live lose the weight


and love the process for good episode six


okay so here we are on the fourth and final session


in this series we’re talking about the


four basics of eat to live and weight loss


this week we are going to be talking about


the emotional tools


that i use to give you like last week we


talked about the emotional tools for


mindset this week we’re talking about


the heart this week we’re talking about


that ooey gooey stuff that you might not be super


good at yet or think that it’s very


important but hopefully i can change


your mind by the end of this podcast


alright so this week is dedicated to the


emotional tools that i give in the eat


to live academy and the eat to live


family and all my private coaching to


help someone


release the weight


keep the weight off and stay consistent


all right now these are the tools of the heart so


i just want to read this little


paragraph that i


read once from an eat to live family


member who’d just come into the family


and she had started looking through the


materials and learning things in the


academy and seeing how we do things in


there and i just want to read


a post that she put up one time here’s what she said


she said thank you i feel like this is a


whole body mind soul experience of


healing surrendering


letting go of old thought patterns


memories mentally and spiritually in my


heart center allowing more self-worth


and love in and physically integrating


all this sort of holy trinity she says


i couldn’t have said it better


what we do around here


so what she’s touching on is um


it’s kind of this word the holistic the whole


person right so we’re not talking about


just the food we’re not talking about


just how to eat to live or what things


to eat or when you should eat them just


the sort of nitty-gritty details


all those things are quite important and


we definitely want to focus on educating


ourselves on those aspects of the


lifestyle but we say lifestyle because


it’s not just about the food and


especially the way that i come at this


with helping someone learn how to do


this consistently it has so much more to do


with just that or just the weight loss


and so as we’re wrapping up this series


here let me tell you a little bit about


those tools the three tools for our heart now


last week we talked about the mind and


the mind you know talking about this


idea that our thoughts create our


feelings and our feelings create our


actions so if we want the actions of


eating healthfully you know the results


of losing the weight all that kind of


stuff we have to learn about the


thoughts and the feelings first so


we learned about that last week and some


of those tools that we can use but this


week what i really want to talk about is


that the tools that maybe you’re not sold


yet are super important right it might


be those tools that you don’t


necessarily believe you should focus on


because what you might be thinking you


need to focus on is how to prep and plan


better and you know if i could just get better at


prepping or if i could just get better


at chopping or cooking or if i didn’t


waste so much produce or if i could just


do this lifestyle without spending so


much right we’re talking about these


very small details that yeah we want to


get good at those and they’re important


but what is actually important is number


one overall our feelings the


feelings now when we talk about feelings


we’re like


ugh like that can’t be it


you know it has to be just about prep it


has to be just about the practical


things and as i say those are important


but actually what’s going to get you


to where you need to go is by first


concentrating on


that inner work that we need to do on


Ourselves even


so like things like are we worth it do


we deserve this time


do we want to put ourselves first um


if we get to that weight can we keep it


there because we think we don’t deserve it or


or can we keep it because


you know we feel like it’s something


that we can maintain right see so all of


these thoughts go into it but our


thoughts create our feelings so if we’re


constantly coming at this from a place of dejected


you know failure lack of confidence


you know just feeling like we’ll never


make it we never are going to make it so


how can we get our inner


like inner heart and inner mind in a


place of deserving


calm peaceful empowerment like i always


say right when we feel


confident and we feel like this


belongs to us this is our identity that’s


when we maintain that’s when um


maintenance and


consistency become no big deal now


this is a concept that maybe you don’t


understand yet but i want to maybe be


the first one to tell you it and i want


you to just have an open mind when we go


into this and i want you to just consider


what if she’s right


okay what if she’s right


how could i incorporate this how now i’m


telling you that the things that we’re


going to learn here on this podcast


these are the deep this is the deep ones


right this isn’t how much


onion to chop every day and eat right


this is the deep stuff so we’re talking


deep seeded stuff that you’ve probably


been carrying along with you like


baggage right like this really heavy


luggage with you


your whole life and maybe you don’t even


think about it and maybe you don’t even


consider it you don’t even think that


it’s important to work on it and to


reduce that amount of baggage until the


point where we can get rid of it but


here’s the main point that i want to make first


if we want to be consistent with our


healthy eating and our weight loss and


we want to like put down all that stuff


about do i deserve it am i worthy of it


will i be able to maintain it so we want


to put down all that stuff


the way to doing that is by


acting now before we’ve gotten to our


goal we need to act now the way we’re


going to act when we’ve gotten to our


goal so everyone is always talking about


like challenges right and i do a lot of


challenges for my audience as well


because it’s my it’s my in road to


convincing you that this is the way that


it might work for you and that you know


you should just give it a try


but actually challenges are not the long-term


goal right why because challenges are


by definition a short-term thing right


it’s a five-day challenge it’s a 14-day


challenge it’s whatever it’s a 21 day


challenge it’s a however long challenge


but a challenge by definition is has a


you know it’s finite it has an end a


beginning and an end


but when we really want to eat to live


and we really want to maintain that


weight loss forever we don’t want to


just be maintaining we want it to just


be our weight all right we don’t even


want to have to think about weight


anymore in a way that


is difficult or work or requires any


kind of thought really we just want it


to be who we are we just want to be that


whatever our goal weight is right


so in order to get there


and stay there we have to start learning


to act that way now


so we don’t have to be perfect we don’t


have to know exactly what it’s going to


be like when we get there but we


we can start practicing what that looks


like so for instance


let’s say we wanted to weight train


here’s another here’s just a unrelated


example let’s say we wanted to tone our


muscles and build our muscles right


let’s just say tone our muscles same say


we’ve never really done much weight


training in our life and we want to tone our muscles


we start toning our muscles and we do


maybe some hit workouts for a while or


maybe we do some yoga or we do some you


know any of these things can get our


bodies to a toned place now let’s say


yoga for instance because that’s pretty


accessible to everybody


let’s say that we do yoga for


three months say right and we start to


notice our body is really getting toned


and strong and we’re becoming more


flexible and all these kinds of things now


in order to maintain that in order to


stay at that vision of ourselves do we


quit yoga at that point once we’ve


gotten to that goal no of course not


right we keep doing the yoga because the


yoga is what got us to the place


where we needed to go where we wanted to


go where our goal was right but we don’t


just shut off what got us there thinking


that that’s gonna just stay indefinitely


right that’s not how it works obviously


same thing with eat to live


or it’s like house cleaning right like


you take all this time to clean your


house because you want it to be really


clean and once you get it there


cool now i can just relax for the rest


of my life right i wish that’s how it


worked but that’s not how it works if


you want your house to stay clean it’s a


constant thing you just keep doing it


right another one that i always think of is


you know having kids and i think


one of the things that i really do not


enjoy very much is having to feed them


like three to five times a day that’s


not my favorite pastime sometimes you


know i enjoy sitting down with them to a


meal or whatever but a lot of the times


like okay lunch time now what are we


gonna eat right okay dinner time now


what do we what do we have for breakfast


right it’s just this constant like


always thinking about what we’re going


to be eating even if i use a meal plan


it’s still like i have to like make the


food you know i have to like plan ahead


and do the things and make them the food


and feed them whatever and so but if i


want the child to live


right that’s a thing we have to just


keep doing it’s this idea like it is the work right


so in order for us to maintain whatever


goal it is we’re going for we have to


learn to act that way now and we have to


get good at acting that way until it


becomes second nature right how did we


get good at brushing our teeth well we


just brushed our teeth a lot you know we


didn’t like we didn’t always complain


about it we did when we were little and


then we stopped complaining about it and


because we realized the benefits of it


right so it takes this maintenance


but it’s not just right and so so let me


relate this now more towards what we’re


talking about today which is the tools


of the heart the


inner tools the feeling tools here so


the things that we’re going to talk about today


when we talk about the four basics of


eat to live and weight loss we have to


understand and incorporate embody


the spirit of these tools now you’re not


going to get it right away if you’ve


never worked on this before but we can


keep working on it and getting better


and better at it and the better we get


at it the more it’s going to affect our


weight loss and healthy eating journey


okay so these tools i’ve got um kind of


three buckets today so one of them is


sort of self-love


self-confidence body image bucket so to


speak then we’ve got the self-care


bucket and then we have the worthiness bucket okay now


these three things that we’re going to


be talking about are all


very we talk about it very very in-depth


in the eat to live family which is um


well so in the eat love academy is my


program the digital coaching program


that i have which is part of the eat to live family


so the eat to live academy has eight


weeks of lessons videos


and it will teach you the foundation of


my coaching program if you were to


become a private client of mine and i


put you through the eat-tell of academy


you would have the whole foundation


before we even got started then we could


start to work on your personal things specific to you


so we start with each live academy


because it gives all these tools first


and what we’re talking about today and


what we’ve been talking about for the


last few weeks is specifically these


things okay and and we’re going to keep


going into this stuff so you’ll get more


and more information on this as we go


but if you joined the eat to live family


which is my monthly


affordable group coaching membership


we’ve got you know hundreds of people in


there doing all this work together and


supporting each other


you get access to that eat to live


academy automatically just by being a


family member and so you can learn all


that and there okay so let’s talk number


one about the first set of tools which


is self-love self-confidence and body


image okay so we’re going to do this one


real briefly because i have a much more


in-depth program in the academy on this


but the reason that i find this one so


important is very similarly what i was


just saying with the idea of wanting to act now


and feel and think now


the way we’re going to feel and think


and act when we get to our goal so


the issue here is that everyone always


thinks that when they get there it’s


going to be so much better than when


they get here and the the getting there


is what’s going to make them


is is is the goal right so that


once they reach that weight


that weight is what’s going to make them


love themselves at that point okay now


this is the biggest fallacy


this is the biggest issue in the weight


loss community and also the healthy


eating community


is that once we get really good at it


it’s just going to be so easy and we’re


going to feel so much better and just


the being able to slip on our pants


easily in the morning is gonna make


everything perfect right


but here’s the reality


this is the you know i’m sorry to be the


bearer of bad news but


being able to slip your pants on easily


being able to go grocery i mean


clothes shopping without having too much worry


you know only having one size of clothes


in your closet etc


that only creates one


fun aspect of your life


but if you got to that place


using self-hatred and self-loathing


and you know disgust and um forcing


yourself to do things that you don’t want to do


when you get to that place of that


weight loss the last thing you’re going


to want to do is keep doing what you did


to get there because what you did to get


there was painful like who wants to hate


themselves for the rest of their lives


who wants to


you know look in the mirror and


beat themselves up for the rest of their lives


because what happens is when we get


there and we see that new reflection it


doesn’t feel like us


we don’t think we deserve it we don’t


think it’s us we it does not feel like


our own identity and so therefore we


become attacked with our own thoughts


again at that point of like


well i don’t deserve this i’m never


going to be able to keep it it won’t work


i i can’t hold on to this this isn’t me


right because what we’ve done the whole time


is just beat ourselves up over it so we weren’t really


accepting the journey we weren’t really


learning to become


good at the steps that it takes to do


that we just kept thinking when i get


there that’s going to make me feel


better right but what we need to make us


feel better is actually the journey we


actually need the steps that we take to


get there to feel good because when we


get there that’s sustainable right


feeling good about the journey


learning to love ourselves during the


journey so if we have done things


throughout that journey in order to feel


better we will feel better when we get


to the weight and it won’t be the weight loss


or the you know the understanding of how


to use the kitchen tools and getting


good in the kitchen and all that it


won’t be those goals that make us feel better it will be


it will be like just inherent that we


feel better our thoughts will be so good


at making us feel good that we will just


always be able to do that whenever we


need to now it’s not to say that life is


always perfect and it’s easy but if we


get good at those tools during the journey


that when we get there that’s when it’s


sustainable okay so


self confidence self-love body image these 100


come from our own thoughts about


ourselves okay body image self-love


self-confidence it’s 100 our thoughts


it’s not what we weigh


it’s not um you know what kind of


clothes we wear or anything like that or


or especially it’s not what other people


think of us okay it’s a hundred percent


what we think of ourselves so we say our


thoughts create our feelings our


feelings create our actions so let’s


look at what self-love might look like


self-love might be when we look in the


mirror no matter what we wear no matter


what size we are we love ourselves


anyways how could that be possible now


this might be something that’s really


slippery for you right now i know it was


for me in the very beginning


but the idea is that if we hate ourselves now


i promise you that when you get to that


weight you’re still gonna hate yourself


you’re just gonna hate different things


about yourself and it’s it’s you’re


gonna hate the fact that you feel like


you can’t keep it you’re gonna hate the fact that you feel like


you’re not the type of person who can


maintain that and then you’re just gonna


end up eating again and you know going


through that process all over again


but if we can learn to love ourselves


during that journey now we don’t have to


love ourselves this second but we have


to be like learning to love ourselves in the


process of learning to love that so that


when we get to that goal weight it feels


comfortable we feel comfortable in our


own skin and we love ourselves now this is work


and the way that this works technically


is with our thoughts so our thoughts


create our feelings if our thoughts are


all about self-loathing and hating


ourselves and all that that’s what we’re


going to feel we’re going to feel


self-loathing and when we feel that kind


of stuff that’s when we overeat that’s


when we binge and all that kind of stuff


but if instead we can learn to shift our


thoughts towards things like


i love myself at any size


i love myself no matter what my arms


look like or no matter what my stomach


looks like i still love myself


that creates feelings of self-love it


creates feelings of softness and


tenderness and when we feel those kinds


of feelings about ourselves our actions


are much more positive you see the difference there


but then the question is always like


well how do i get to those thoughts


that’s the rub there so we have a lot of


tools in the eat to live family that i


give you in order to do that i can’t get


into all of them in this podcast but one


of them specifically is like a thought


bridge or a thought ladder so i like


this thought ladder idea


where we think like if our stomach is


the problem area that we’re not happy


with for instance instead of just having


these very very negative thoughts first


we want to notice what thoughts we’re


having but we want to start to try to


find a thought that’s a little easier


for us to believe


but feels a little bit more positive so


for instance if the thought if the


general thought is my stomach is so


terrible i hate my stomach i wish i


wasn’t you know so fat i wish it didn’t


have so much fat on it or something if


that’s our general thought


what if we switched to a thought that’s


still believable of this is what a human


stomach looks like now it’s totally


neutral in that thought right this is


what a human stomach looks like and if


we really think about that thought we


know it’s true and we can believe it


right away because we are human and we


have that stomach right we can also


start to think wow there’s a lot of


other people that have similar stomachs


to mine or stomachs that even have more


fat on them or you know just from a from


a factual standpoint right so we can start to really


open up those thoughts a little bit so


instead of just thinking i hate my


stomach we can think this is what a


stomach looks like and when we start to


just realize oh this is what a stomach looks like


it takes out some of that negativity so


what we would do in that case is


we start to notice that we’re having


those very negative thoughts and we


shift we choose a different thought in


that moment which might be this more


neutral thought when we have more


neutral thoughts about ourselves maybe


to start with we don’t necessarily have


to start off super positive and loving


and perfect right away if we’re just


starting from a place of more neutral


that is at least during our day gonna


create more of a neutral feeling which


does not lead to massive overeating and


binges it leads to more just you know


neutral type actions okay so that’s


that’s kind of how we start shifting we


have a lot more in the eat to live


family in the academy


so we would do the same thing with our


confidence in our body image so that’s


sort of the tool number one


sort of first bucket of shifts that i


would love for you to make that can help


you get to that consistency and


sustainability in your weight loss and your


your body image and all that


the second one is self-care and i have a


um a very particular perspective on


self-care i’m going to go through this


one briefly we’ll do more on this later


but i love this idea of self-care being


because typically we hear about


self-care being


manicures and pedicures and baths and you know


sort of aesthetic things that have to do


with the outside of our body but i


instead want us to shift our definition


of self-care and i want us to shift it to


anything that creates a feeling of sort of


self-love a feeling of


progress a feeling of


you know actually taking care of


yourself so let’s look at the difference between


now this is going to maybe sound a


little bit weird but this is exactly


what i mean


let’s look at the difference between


getting a manicure


not that there’s anything wrong with


getting manicures okay so let me just


say that first but i just want to talk


about the definition of self-care


so the difference between getting a


manicure and doing your budget or


getting out of debt for instance okay so


that’s like a financial goal maybe


now the getting out of debt one might


take a really long time and you know i


am no stranger to to debt from my you


know past lives of going to expensive


college and all these kinds of you know


using credit cards and things like that


but when i started shifting out of that


and realizing that actually paying off those


credit cards and paying off that school


loan debt and all that actually made me


feel so good


the difference between doing that and


getting a manicure


worlds of difference right so i want us


to redefine self-care as anything that


moves us forward that progresses us now


let’s talk about the manicure for a


second so i look at a manicure like okay


that’s nice and everything but it’s


something you have to just keep doing


like it goes away the effects of it go away


you know it’s it’s something you have to


keep reapplying in a way right whereas


getting out of debt that’s a permanent


self-love self-care type decision right


now but let’s talk about the manicure


for a second


it’s not that there aren’t any benefits


from it because let’s say that going to


get a manicure is actually your your


release from you know the the


responsibilities of parenting or being


at the home doing all the things or


whatever so maybe that is the time that


you can take at this moment


to and maybe that does create a feeling


of well-being but that’s the difference


i want you to look at here is this sort


of temporary pleasure that disappears


and you have to reapply


in a way right like taking a bath those


kinds of things or


is it something that really builds and


grows and can sort of compound on itself


right so getting out of debt is one of


those things um


keeping your house clean for instance


could be another one keeping your house


free of clutter you know


making time for your friends when you


don’t do that very often or


not doing social media so much right


learning to do things that actually


build you up instead of sort of deplete


you right so that’s that’s kind of what


i want you to look at the difference


between self-care and and something that maybe


seems like self-care but actually isn’t


self-care so be considering self-care


in that way of what can i actually do


for myself that’s going to move me


forward that’s going to give me some


progress that’s what we wanted to find self-care as okay


and then the third thing that i want to


talk about today just very briefly is


worthiness because interestingly as a


private coach as a life coach


i find that all of our issues actually


stem from a feeling of


lack of worthiness right we all feel


like we’re just not worthy of the thing


that we’re doing or the thing that we’re


trying to attempt


and this one is a pretty deep one and it


can be slippery to hold on to but let me


just give you a few thoughts on this and


and i want you to start considering this


so brene brown who is a researcher on


guilt and shame and she’s just an


incredible woman you can look up her ted


talks i’ll try to put something in the


show notes about her as well if you


haven’t heard about her


but she talks about worthiness in such a beautiful way


that i had never heard before i heard it


from her and it just


i allowed myself to let it shift my


entire thought about worthiness and so


some things that she says about


worthiness are that worthiness is


inherent so somebody’s self-worth is inherent


it is there from the moment they’re born and it is there


at the moment they die and it never


changes up or down you know more


self-worth less self-worth that never


changes at all not even a spec no matter


what we do or what we don’t do in our life


the way that you can kind of hold on to


this a little bit i go so much more in


depth on this in the academy and there’s


many other resources that you can look


into this as well but i think it’s


totally worth it to start to understand


self-worth and understand our own self-worth


so that we can feel better during the


journey so that the journey becomes


pleasurable and then the end goal


becomes pleasurable as well


right if we’re if we have this inner


wellspring i like to think of that like


a bubbling spring of just worth and self-worth and


knowing that internally


we are always worthy when we have that


and we can hold on to that it makes the


journey so much easier and more


pleasurable and


it makes it feel so much more


sustainable when we have that so this


Idea self-worth being


something so the example that i like to


give is the example of a baby all right


so when a baby is born it doesn’t matter


who the baby grows up to be


that baby we all consider worthy all of


us like anyone looking at a baby would


consider a baby worthy because they’re


innocent you know they haven’t done


anything wrong they don’t know anything


yet you know they they deserve love and


care and all these things


but somewhere along the line in our


society we start to equate self-worth


with our actions what we have done or


haven’t done so we start to think that


our worthiness comes from what we do or


don’t do now this is not true this is crap


and especially if you look at the brene


brown stuff it all supports this idea


and you can find this in so many other


places as well this idea that


no matter what we do or don’t do


we are worthy we are worthy of


everything we want we are worthy of you


know i mean just think of like


those babies who don’t have enough food


to eat right and are they worthy of food


absolutely are they worthy of love


absolutely when does it change when do


they become less worthy of things well


they never are right because we are


human because we are all here we all


deserve the same amount of awesomeness


and we all have that within ourselves now


this is where it gets a little tricky


and we will probably talk about this


more in the future but i don’t want to


get into it too much today but


it starts to become problematic because


we start to think well so and so is more


worthy than this other person because of


these things they have done right mother


teresa versus jeffrey dahmer kind of an idea right


but that’s actually not how worthiness works


everyone is as worthy as anyone else no


matter what they do or don’t do


worthiness is inherent it’s a hundred


percent there it’s always there


and so so i’m going to leave it here and


we have so much more that we can say on


this and we will in the future as i said


there’s so much more on the academy but


i just want you to start asking yourself


these questions how could these things be true


how could these things be true and how


could i incorporate these things into my


life because i promise you


the stuff that has to do with feelings


in the heart and our inner mind and ourinner


our inner workings this is everything


when it comes to sustainability and long-term


you know goal seeking and maintenance


and keeping of goals right


all of these things that go together


everything we talked about in this


series they all go together to create


this holistic view of


what it takes to be successful long term


and it all comes from the feelings


inside of us whether we whether we love


ourselves whether we’re confident


whether we feel we can do it whether we


feel worthy of it and


when you put all of those things


together as well as the things we talked


about that are very practical right how


to use the scale how to not beat


yourself up how to get into that mindset


how to how to shift your thoughts


deliberately and then of course


why are we eating this way why do we


want to eat healthy food why is it so


important right we’re looking at all the


specific reasons why we do eat to live


all these practical things


when we put all that together


that is what creates a successful


journey now you might be looking at it


and going oh my gosh that sounds like so


much work right if we’re doing all this


self-care we’re working on our thoughts


and all this kind of stuff yeah it is a


lot of work but guess what it is the


most important work we can ever do


because when we get this stuff down


we are creating


a sustainable legacy for not only


ourselves we not only make our life feel good


but we’re creating a legacy for others


to see as well our friends and family


children right we’re creating something


that just bubbles over to everyone else


and isn’t that what we’re here for isn’t


it about love and relationships and


connection and creating all of this


amazingness for everyone around us isn’t that


what it’s all about


maybe i just urge you to question it and


look for it for yourself see if it’s


something that you’re interested in and


if you are i can take you on this whole


journey and we’ll do this together okay thank you so much


guess what we put on free eat to live


challenges every so often and we want


you to be part of them lately we’ve been


doing five day healthy eating challenges


where you get free recipes meal plans


and grocery lists as well as prep


instructions and so much more to help


you learn the rhythm of the eat to live


diet in an easy accessible way and you


just might lose some weight while you’re


at it visit thewateringwealth.com


challenge to learn more


oh and listen my dear friend if you ever


felt you were alone in this eat to live


lifestyle thing well you’re not there’s


a huge private safe community of all of


us learning how to eat to live lose the


weight and love the process for good and


it’s called the eat to live family it’s


my affordable monthly group coaching


membership and there’s only one thing missing


you find out more at thewateringmoth.com family